Letting Go of the Table. Picking Up the Sword.

Why I’m Leaving Massage — and Saying Yes to the Next Call

For a time, I’ve had the privilege of serving people through massage therapy. I didn’t stumble into it — I was called. I first experienced healing as a client, and something about that encounter stirred something deep in me:
“I want to help people the way I was helped.”

That desire to serve and heal was real. So I went to school, studied hard, trained well, and eventually stepped into massage therapy as a second career. And for a season, it was beautiful. I got to be a small part of people’s healing — not just physically, but emotionally, mentally, and spiritually.

But calling isn’t always forever. Sometimes it’s seasonal. And recently, God made it clear:
This chapter is coming to a close — because a new one is beginning.

Massage taught me how to serve with my hands.
Now God is calling me to serve with my voice.
To speak truth, cut down lies, disciple others, and bring healing in new ways — not just muscular, but theological.

It’s not that the desire to help people has faded. If anything, it’s intensified.
It’s just that God is expanding the battlefield.
He’s showing me that the greatest pain people carry isn’t just in their backs or shoulders — it’s in their beliefs.
In the lies they’ve been told about God.
In the questions they were never allowed to ask.
In the shame they still carry.

And the best way I can serve now… is to step fully into the path He’s laid out:
Graduate study.
Discipleship.
Teaching.
Writing.
Faithful wrestling.

Yes, I could technically keep doing massage on the side.
But that’s not where my heart is anymore.
And the truth is: every hour I hold onto something God’s asked me to lay down… is an hour I’m not stepping into what He has for me now.

This isn’t about money.
This isn’t about being busy.
This is about obedience.
It’s about being faithful not just to what God once called me to, but to what He’s calling me to now.

I know not everyone will understand.

Some may say, “But you were good at it.”
Or “Didn’t God call you to massage in the first place?”
Or “What about all that time and money you invested?”

And here’s my answer:

Yes, I was good at it.
Yes, God did call me to it.
And no — none of that was wasted.

Massage was training ground.
It taught me to care deeply, to pay attention, to hold space for others.
And those are the very skills I’ll carry into this next chapter.

But healing was never meant to stop at the body.
It’s time to go deeper.

God has called me to confront lies with truth,
To teach and defend what’s good,
To comfort the afflicted — and afflict the comfortable — with Scripture, reason, and love.

And to do that well, I need margin.
I need focus.
I need to be all-in.

So I’m letting go of the table.
Not because it was bad — but because the season has served its purpose.
And I’m picking up the sword — not of violence, but of truth.
Because that’s how I’m called to fight now.

This is the first of many reflections I’ll be sharing here.
Some will be personal. Some will be theological.
All of them will be written in the tension between what’s real and what’s possible — what we wrestle with, and what God reveals.

Thanks for walking with me.
I’m honored to have you in the ring.

If you’ve ever felt God shifting your direction — even away from something good — I’d love to hear your story. Let’s wrestle together.